Anonymous asked: What's your favorite sexual position?
I attach a colossal dildo to the front of a monster truck and drive it full speed right into her. 100% chance of mutual orgasm.
tiny little turn ons:
- people leaning against walls with one shoulder while they talk
- catching somebody turning away smiling at a joke you made
- people who linger on a hug for just a second after you let go
- somebody glancing at your lips while you’re talking
Jesus is not a turn-on he is the way the truth and the light go 2 church and reflect on your nasty ass sins
- guinness world records man: sir you have done nothing but do pushups from this one spot for 20 years with no rest. what drives you?
- me, still doing pushups: i wanna push this planet out of the idiot solar system and into the horrifying abyss of the unknown universe and this is the only way I know how
- world records man, in awe: [drops everything and instantly begins doing pushups next to me]